Ocean United

失眠问题再度来袭，折腾到早上5点才基本睡下，当然个中原因我也知晓，也是自己造成的。

抑郁的问题昨天下午冒了个小泡，我很适时的把它给击退了，想来在这个问题上，自己也越来越得心应手了。

 

抑郁的问题也是我自己造成的，偏要看这部电影，电影也实在冷门，下载了几天无果，但最后发现早几年前已经有人将它传上某视频网站。

片子名叫《野蛮入侵》，拿过无数大奖，但是好像因为“政治上的不正确”，鲜有人提及。

片子基本上让我有似曾相识的感觉，身边也有这样的一对父子：在大学教书年轻时意气风发年老时一事无成的学究父亲，还有一个打拼于金融机构年纪轻轻事业有成要什么有什么的标准美好青年的儿子。

 

还好还好，片子对得起它拿的那些大奖，根本没有走向俗套，矫情的知识分子电影看过，这么清新自然、出淤泥而不染的矫情知识分子电影还是第一次见。

可能还是因为故事是从老人家的角度说出来的，年轻的矫情和荒唐，却在年老时的回忆里变的温和而含情脉脉，也有历史的重量和思考的深度。

基本上一部有希望的人能从中看到希望，有抑郁的人能从中看到绝望的片子，不过“政治上正确”的人还是别看了，这不是一部对人类充满信任的片子。

 

老头儿老太太几个在片子里面有一段经典对白，看到好多影评都引了这段，我也不免俗了：

“我么都做过，从分离主义者，独立主义，主权主义，主权暨合作主义者”
　　“我们从存在主义启蒙，到萨特，卡缪，度过法农后变成反殖民主义者”
　　“拜读马尔库塞变成马克思主义”“马克思，列宁主义者”“毛泽东主义者”
　　“读了索仁尼辛后，想法变了”“情景主义者”，“女权主义者”，“结构主义者”
　　“还有什么主义咱们没有膜拜过？”“愚蠢主义”

基本上也就是一个从相信、相信、相信，再到不相信，再到相信的过程。

 

片尾的曲子倒是很贴合主题，多年挚友、家人若都能在身边陪伴，那衰老而死好像也不是那么可怕：

 

我有很多来自云端的朋友
　　带着装满太阳和雨水的简单行李
　　他们将充满友谊的季节
　　化为为地球最美的一季
　　他们拥有世上最美丽风景的温柔
　　和与候鸟一样的忠诚
　　他们内心拥有无尽的柔情
　　只是偶尔眼神流露悲伤
　　于是
　　他们会来我家，取暖
　　而你
　　你也会来
　　然后重返云端深处
　　再向别人展露你的笑颜
　　用些许柔情抚慰你周围的朋友
　　当别人想对你隐藏他的悲伤时
　　因为没有人知道未来将怎样
　　可能有一天，我也不知道我会是谁
　　若我还能拥有一位真正了解我的朋友
　　我就能够忘记泪水和痛苦
　　那么
　　或许我会去你家
　　用你的炉火温暖我的心

This month holds two big eclipses in a family of signs we haven't seen since 2000 and 2001: Cancer and Capricorn. From this month forward, they will arrive every six months in pairs as a very energetic new moon and full moon. These eclipses will help improve your outlook and your physical health, and they will also bring a few startling changes in your everyday work experience in terms of new assignments, changes in procedure, and shifts in personnel near you. This month's eclipses will be gentle and encouraging, so you'll like what you see and hear.
　　
　　
　　Next month, on August 5, we will have a lunar (full moon) eclipse in Aquarius. If you were saying to yourself, "Wow, three eclipses in a row sounds really unusual!" you would be right. It is! Having three eclipses in a row, all two weeks apart, rarely happens, but does when one family of eclipses is ending and a new one is starting up, which is happening now. As said, the new eclipses will emphasize Cancer and Capricorn from now until mid-2011. This all is very interesting because astrologers know eclipses are the harbingers of massive change, and the shifts they bring are usually sudden and unexpected. We are fortunate this time, however, in that these will be gentle ones.
　　
　　
　　Of the three, the August 5 eclipse will affect you the most because it will fall in Aquarius and be doubly strong if your birthday falls within five days of February 5. I will discuss your Aquarius eclipse in detail next month, but suffice to say that it's a positive one, too. That eclipse will be the last in a long series of eclipses that have come by every six months in Leo and Aquarius for two years. After next month, there will be no more eclipses in your sign for the coming nine years. After this, in some respects, life will feel calmer and you will be able to plan with a greater sense of security. Financial developments will still need tending for awhile, but even your financial picture will brighten significantly, as soon as in November.
　　
　　
　　Actually, when it comes to finances, you have had some of the most extreme aspects of any sign, with good news coming at you one minute and difficult news the next. This month seems to bring far more good news about your financial picture than anything else, so that's a relief. Even though you may see sudden shots of cash that you never expected come to you in July, you won't quite be able to fully relax because Saturn is still acting in a pesky way, and you and I will have to keep an eye on him. After a welcome period of stability from November through March 2010, you will have to keep alert from April to July of 2010 because you may have a sudden jolt or two. By the time you are done with July 2010, you should find it easier to control your finances, and the tough aspects like the ones you've been coping with over the past two years won't return. Keep to a very conservative course and you'll come out on top.
　　
　　
　　This month, you may get good financial news on several days. First, watch July 2, when Venus, a planet associated with money (as well as with love and attractiveness), will send Jupiter a wink and a nod, and a bit of cash or a beautiful gift may be yours.
　　
　　
　　Next watch July 10 when there will be a rare and very celebratory meeting of Jupiter, planet of good fortune, with Neptune, patron of all creative efforts, both in your sign, Aquarius. Neptune also happens to rule your second house of earned income, so with Jupiter shining his light on your salary house, you may see a new source of income come in near this date, or you may get a raise or sell something expensive, such as artwork, the idea for a new digital game, or any other innovative creation. If you work in a creative field, you certainly will be at the right place at the right time. What makes this so delicious is that you won't see any of this coming, so it will be a nice surprise.
　　
　　
　　Another outstanding time for financial talks will include all the days spanning July 16 through July 20. That's fantastic! In that period you will have Mercury in loving trine aspect to Uranus (July 16), the mighty Sun in divine angle to Uranus (July 18, one of your best days of the month), and Mercury in perfect angle to Mars (July 20). It doesn't matter which day you choose to have a meeting - these will all be four-star days. Some sort of middleman, such as an agent, lawyer, representative, or broker may be very instrumental to your sudden luck.
　　
　　
　　We got a little sidetracked with the topic of money, but because the news is so very good, I couldn't wait to tell you all I had to say about that! Now, let's go back to the discussion of the new family of eclipses in Cancer and Capricorn. They will herald a new long-range trend that is just starting up and will be in place over the coming two years, so let's get into a discussion about them now.
　　
　　
　　The first eclipse will arrive on July 7 in the form of a full moon lunar eclipse. This one is in Capricorn at 15 degrees and will light your twelfth house of intuition and behind-the-scenes activities. There are many ways this eclipse may deliver news, so let's look at all of them.
　　
　　
　　One way is that you may be planning a surprise for someone close to you that you will be ready to reveal within five days of this date, July 7. The fact that this is an eclipse means something important is going on at the time, so the news or surprise you have would be a considerable one.
　　
　　
　　If you feel a little run down (possible) this full moon will give you a chance to beg off activities for a while and recharge your batteries. If you feel a little tired, why fight it? Give in to rest. If you have a vacation day or two to take, treat yourself to some extra sleep and a more leisurely schedule.
　　
　　
　　If you are fine, it's possible a female friend or family member will be in the hospital or not feeling well. This is a possible manifestation of this eclipse, and if this should occur, you'll want to come see this person to find out if you can lend a hand and offer your brand of cheer. It's always a good idea to keep your schedule flexible near eclipses, because news from the outside, unrelated to anything you've been doing, usually comes up.
　　
　　
　　Your mental health will also be highlighted at this eclipse. If you have any concern you feel would be good to talk over with a therapist or coach, schedule an appointment for just after this eclipse July 7. You had a new moon in the very same area of the chart last month, a very rare situation, so you may have already started the process of sharing your feelings with a professional who is qualified to help you. If so, you will now feel more comfortable with that counselor, and you will be able to get closer to the answer.
　　
　　
　　In many ways, the July 7 eclipse will help you go underground for a while to think over what comes next in your life. You've been in active mode, but now you need to stop and let others catch up to you. Let some of those plans take root - you've done enough for now. While you wait, the July 7 eclipse will help you transition to a more strategic mode. You need to prepare now for your next big push forward, which will take place from mid-October to mid-January 2010.
　　
　　
　　Why did I choose mid-October to mid-January 2010? Let me explain. Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, is touring Aquarius now, for the first time in 12 years. This is very fortunate for you, but Jupiter just went retrograde on June 14 and will stay in sleepy orbit until October 13. A retrograde planet works at a weaker, reduced level. For business projects, you need Jupiter to be moving in a strong, fast orbit, and not retrograde, because Jupiter rules profit and expansion. By mid-October you will have Jupiter just the way you want him to be.
　　
　　
　　So this month, the July 7 eclipse in Capricorn will urge you to survey all you have done so far this year and decide what, if any, corrections are necessary to make your plans better or more realistic. An eclipse in Capricorn will always emphasize the need to be objective, earthy, and practical. Aim to have your major plans set to launch in mid-October when Jupiter will turn back to direct speed and help you on a more powerful level. Jupiter will stay in Aquarius until January 17, 2010, which is why I mentioned mid-October to mid-January as being your best time to launch a new endeavor, project, or relationship that is very dear to your heart.
　　
　　
　　This will be a gentle eclipse on July 7. The moon will reach out to Saturn, plant of stability, now going though your eighth house of other people's money, so you may find a way to improve or stabilize your finances.
　　
　　
　　Mars will also receive a golden beam from Uranus at this lunar eclipse, so you may get surprising news about money due you near July 7, and if so, it will come straight out of the blue. Also, expect any matter having to do with your home, other property, or a family member (with stronger emphasis on your mother) to bring upbeat and comforting news. If this is not true immediately, it should become so in time. All things considered, this eclipse should bring more money to your pocket and that's always welcome news!
　　
　　
　　The second eclipse on July 21 will be a solar new moon eclipse and will open a path in your sixth house - that sector governs several areas of your life: health, everyday work habits, projects, and your workaday experience, among other things. Let's have a look.
　　
　　
　　First, the theme of being healthy will again be underscored. This time, however, you'll have a remarkable chance to increase your health, stamina, and fortitude to a new level in time, and it doesn't matter one bit where you happen to be now. For example, if you've been working out all along, you can now zero in on a new exercise method or take up a new sport or class that you get really excited about and that makes you feel better than you ever thought possible.
　　
　　
　　If you've been ill or injured, you will have a chance to see more rapid progress than you've seen so far, perhaps because of new treatment, physical therapy, or through other steps you and your doctor are taking. Watch what happens in the months to come - you'll like what you see. Last month you had a very strong new moon in this same sixth house of health, but now a solar eclipse will take over and send you a blast of incredibly strong energy that you can harness to your advantage. If you are not sure that your present doctor has the right understanding of your condition, by all means get another opinion - it may prove to be an eye opener. If you are enthusiastic about your doctor, he or she may prescribe new things you can do to feel better.
　　
　　
　　If you are healthy but sheepishly admit you've been doing things that are not good for your health, this solar eclipse will allow you to turn over a new leaf. There is nothing as powerful as a benefic solar eclipse, and that's precisely what you have now. With such strong help, dear Aquarius, it would be a shame not to use it to the max. Do something that's been hard to achieve, such as to get on a regular workout schedule or lose just a few pounds.
　　
　　
　　This same new moon eclipse may bring some startling changes on the work front. A co-worker (most likely female) may quit, or even be asked to leave due to a downsizing by the company - and if so, you may miss her. (You seem safe, so don't worry about losing your job - the opposite is true, you'll need to work more!) Often an eclipse will "eclipse out" someone from your everyday life, and in your case it would most likely be a friendly office mate. You will have more work to do now that this person will be leaving, but it seems that you had enjoyed this person, and although someone else who is friendly will someday fill her place, things will be, well, different. Ah, such is life. Knowing this doesn't always make things easier.
　　
　　
　　With such change due in your office, one client might leave (not necessarily, although perhaps this will happen), but at the same time a much better one may suddenly come in. Business looks to be good, too. That's always nice to hear, and you'll certainly need to be tap dancing quickly. In case you thought this would be a quiet little summer (if you live in the north hemisphere), well, think again! It will get even busier from August 25 to October 16, so you seem to be needed by your boss - try not being on vacation at that time. By mid-October, Jupiter will go direct, so the rest of the fall will be fantastic, too. If you need to catch your breath, do so near July 7, a time when you'll be feeling a little less energetic.
　　
　　
　　An interesting side benefit of the eclipse will be that you may decide to add a little pet to your household after July 21. This could be great fun, and the little dog or cat that comes to you may come as a gift or as a little stray that decides to choose you to take care of him. Or, it may be that you will choose this little furry creature in a pet shop or animal shelter because you've been thinking of having a new little pet to love. Doesn't matter - this will be a great time to add a pet to your life.
　　
　　
　　If you already have a pet, in the weeks to come, spend more time together. You may pick up a little toy or treat to surprise your pet, or decide to redo his little bed to make it cozy and inviting for him.
　　
　　
　　If your pet has not been feeling well, the time after the new moon solar eclipse of July 21 could help you find a veterinarian who can give you the right advice to get him feeling well again, or at the very least, much more comfortable.
　　
　　
　　This July 21 eclipse will be beautifully angled to Uranus, so no matter how you feel the effects of this eclipse, in terms of all we have talked about - your health, new assignments, and changes at the office, or in regard to a little domestic pet - news should be upbeat and will likely come suddenly and unexpectedly, like lightning! This is one of those rare new moon eclipses that will be positive in every way. Dear Aquarius, while most people will like this eclipse, you will benefit even more because Uranus is your ruling planet, in charge of taking good care of you. With Uranus so friendly, you'll be in fine shape.
　　
　　
　　There are other happenings in your chart, so let's look at those.
　　
　　
　　Over the past weeks, Mars has been brightening your home area. You may have decided to fix up your home, either in terms of maintenance or improvements. Good idea. Or, you may have decided recently to move house or sell your house. No matter what you want to do, whether the goal is large or small, you still have to do more home-related improvements in July, but you must hurry. Mars will leave your house of home on July 11, and after that, you won't have the help you have now from this energetic planet.
　　
　　
　　Moreover, you will likely become distracted with other things after July 11. Although you may assume you will want to keep focused on your home, property, or family related-plan, it won't be as easy for you to see the rapid progress you have become accustomed to seeing.
　　
　　
　　When Mars does move on, it will enter Gemini, a gorgeous place for it to be, for Mars will be in a fellow air sign like yours (this is a good thing) and will start to light your house of true love. This is the first time in two years that Mars has had time to help you in matters of love and romance, and you may be laughing and saying, "Wow, it's about time!" I agree! You see why I doubt you'll want to paint the living room or clean out closets after July 11? You'll be too busy with a packed social life! Dear Aquarius, are you starting to see what I see? I bet you are! It doesn't matter if you are single, dating, or committed, every Aquarian will have more fun. Your glorious period will last from July 11 to August 25.
　　
　　
　　You really are going to be lucky, for Venus will also be in Gemini and travel along with Mars. While I wish they were orbiting closer to one another, for it would make them even more powerful, just having both Mars and Venus together in the same house of love is rare and quite spectacular in its own right!
　　
　　
　　There are so many days when love and romance will be beautiful for you! First, note July 1 and 2 when Venus will be winking at Uranus - those who are single will like this vibration quite bit!
　　
　　
　　Watch Tuesday, July 7, when your magnetism will be very high, thanks to Mars' beam to Uranus.
　　
　　
　　Friday, July 10, will be magically romantic, a perfect date night for candlelight, music, flowers, and glamour - the works!
　　
　　
　　Your four-star weekend will fall on July 18 and 19 (and start as early as Friday, July 17), thanks to a bewitching vibe between the Sun and Uranus. If you find out you are traveling a short distance, then all the better, for Mercury will be sending his blessings your way for that quick trip.
　　
　　
　　Lastly, lucky you, Venus will be working double time for you on Monday, July 27, and Tuesday, July 28. Venus will blow kisses to Jupiter on the first date and on the latter one, July 28, to Neptune. These are exceedingly glamorous vibrations!
　　
　　
　　As you see, you have a very full month! Keep in mind that having Jupiter in your sign is one of the very best astrological configurations possible for finding new love. Even though Jupiter is retrograde, I want you to be out and about, circulating, if you are single. This is your year - the year with the power to change everything in the coming years. If you want to meet your one true love, it looks like that person wants to meet you, too!
　　
　　
　　If you are attached, the dates listed will be yours to enjoy, too. Next month is shaping up as a terrific one for those who are attached, and so is the fall. Everyone of all marital statuses will benefit!
　　
　　
　　Most romantic dates: July 1, 2 7, 10, 16-20, 22, 25-26, 28, and 30.
　　
　　
　　
　　Summary
　　
　　
　　You won't find a shortage of work this month, and considering the economy, that's good news. Whether you work for others or yourself, your services will be in demand and you'll find yourself at the right place at the right time. This will be proven true all month, but especially so just after the solar eclipse July 21. At that time you may find a new job, similar to the one you've been doing in the past, or pick up a new assignment with generous compensation.
　　
　　
　　Creative ideas will get solid support if presented July 10, thanks to a divine interplay of Jupiter (money) and Neptune (inspiration), both in Aquarius.
　　
　　
　　Early in the month, if you need to make a home-related change or improvement, act in July's first ten days. Romance will glow from mid-July through the end of August, so you have a sizzling summer in store. Look your best on July 16-18 when your charisma will be hitting an all-time high.
　　
　　
　　
　　Dates to note:
　　
　　
　　Near July 7, your psychic powers will be unusually high. You may uncover a clue to something you've found mysterious, and when you do, you'll have an epiphany. Dreams may be very vivid at this time, too.
　　
　　
　　Finish up a home-related project by July 10, if possible, when matters related to real estate, furnishings, and other trades would shine. You may get a tip or special bargain on July 7 - stay alert.
　　
　　
　　Romantically, July could be one of your best months. Venus and Mars will tour your house of true love, giving you a double dip of romantic luck.
　　
　　
　　Venus will tour Gemini from July 5-30. Not only will this be great for love, but also for stocking up on fashionable new things to wear. Choose a new fragrance, makeup, and lingerie, too.
　　
　　
　　Mars will tour Gemini from July 12 to August 25 to treat you to a wow of a romantic summer.
　　
　　
　　Jupiter's meeting with Neptune - considered very rare - will expand your mind and bring on a cascade of ideas.
　　
　　
　　Surprise money should find its way to your door on July 17.
　　
　　
　　A new work assignment or other project may cause your spirits to soar from July 22 onward, thanks to the solar eclipse.
　　
　　
　　Most romantic dates: July 1, 2 7, 10, 16-20, 22, 25-26, 28, and 30.

 

 

--苏三的每月运势总是写得这么振奋人心，看她的描述，我的7月整个就是充斥着惊喜、金钱和爱情的月份。。。。OH, My God!

天气好的不可想象，充斥着煤渣子味儿的都城，竟然晴朗到可以看到片片云彩，以及周围蓝的不可思议的天。

晚上7点多钟的时候，坐在车上，看窗外的晚霞，红透透的充满暖意。

 

坐在车上，自东向西，风好大，关上车窗，打开冷气，看外面朝阳路上经过的一个个，高楼大厦，镜面般的朝外Soho反射着西边的红霞。

车上广播开着，放着相声，除此之外没有任何声音，凉爽而安静。

 

晚上又去逛昨天去过的那个商场，地产大佬开办的那座商场，刚开业没多久，还有一阵阵的油漆味儿，二楼摆着一架钢琴，供人随便弹，果试了下，却发现许久不练，手生了。

商场外面有个好大的展示台，放着那个已经破产的美国汽车公司旗下新产品的宣传片，还没过马路，就瞧见大屏幕上的广告，音乐好大。

广告内容还蛮简单的，不过是个从1995年到2009的故事，故事里的人从豆蔻年华到刚刚而立，从自行车到摩托再到那台小汽车，香槟色的汽车第一次看起来这么的温暖。

配乐是个女歌手的歌，应时应景，且有很大的魔力和感染力，我们坐在广场的台阶上一直盯着看，看的感动异常，眼眶里有泪珠打转。

 

夜倒是深了，可是发现还是一个人回家，还是一个人坐在屋子里孤单单的，索性坐在台阶上聊天。

聊我们的爸妈，聊我的犬儒和如何不紧跟时事，聊我的外表开朗和内心悲观，然后畅想30岁的时候，我们会是什么样的状态。

“估计还是困惑，一个年纪有一个年纪的困惑。”果说。

 

然后说道，小时候的梦想，如果现实证明并不适合自己，该放掉的就放掉吧，

好像说，从来没得到自己想要的东西，好不容易得到了，发现其实也不是那么一回事儿了。

不要倔强，倔强了也别后悔，听自己的声音，往往这之外的事情或世界比我梦想中的好。

所谓无心插柳柳成荫，强扭的瓜不甜。

最后的总结就是，能不想太多就不想太多，顺其自然，保持开放的心态和乐观。

 

聊了一晚上的天，终于扛不住小虫的叮咬和睡意，回家，自西向东。

本想已近半夜，社区却一派热闹景象，老头儿老太太们齐齐坐在马路牙子上聊天，要么就是围坐在路灯下玩儿牌。

悠闲、宁静的，异于白天的躁动。

风也不刮了，往天上一看，北斗七星亮闪闪的，

上楼，开门，家里凉爽异常。

 

ps：不妨暂时无视生命的裂片而单纯仰望完整无缺的天空，

到家，坐定，喝水，吹风扇，我发现我手还是抖的，

sigh。。。。。都是太激动害得。

 

晚上看变2，先头去二哥家吃了烤串儿，一边吃一边热烈谈论Linkin Park给变2做得主题曲，太TMD的酷了。

只能这么赞叹一句，没有哪个美国乐队和变形金刚的感觉更为匹配了，除了Linkin Park--当然要选新金来配这些汽车人了！

 

热血啊，热血，只能这么总结一句。不谈剧情，剧情没什么好谈的，就是奔着打斗场面去的。

变身，跳跃，翻斗，临空一脚，踢飞你Y的。

热血的场面还包括，美利坚共和国各种军队编制和武器配备，以及黑色的F16。

好家伙，海陆空全都动员了。

 

最爱的还是那个全套个人装备，给我来一身儿就好了。

在沙漠打伏击战，在城市打巷战，大喊“Go!Go!Go!”。

 

好吧，我深受美利坚共和国文化的“荼毒”，我也承认自己根本就是个小男孩。

一个变2，能激动成这样。

 

激动之后的后遗症就是，跑去电玩城玩儿打僵尸来着，举着个机枪扫射。

然后，就是特想开车，特想在朝阳路上半夜飙个80迈试试看，就用快速公交那条儿道。

 

哦，对了，原来玩儿CS的时候，就一直用“亚马逊女战士”这个名儿，但可惜的是，鼠标不好，枪法太烂，还不常练习，辜负了这个名字。

小时候就有的毛病，没查过，也没怎么告诉过爸妈。

就是莫名的，感觉从心底泛出一股难过，全身热腾腾、急躁躁的，左不是右不是，觉着这感觉再继续下去就得翘辫子了。

然后，大概也就10秒钟之后，这感觉又莫名的走了，消失的无影无踪。

 

以前上学，总是骑着我的小单车，初高中那会儿经常在放学的路上碰见这种感觉，10秒钟里阴沉着说不出话来，把着车头不让它翻了。

考上大学之后，好一阵子，这感觉都没有了，我自己也给忘了。

 

没成想，最近，这感觉忽又频繁袭击我，把走在路上，坐在餐厅里，陪人说笑，正打着电话，或者正和人谈着正经事儿的我，折腾的够呛。

 

好像没什么治疗方法，也无从得知是心理原因还是身体原因，或者是对某种东西敏感而我自己也不知道，反正这感觉临头的时候，就只能撑着，撑过10秒钟就好。

 

今天这感觉突袭了我两次，写篇东西以纪念一下，这已经算是频繁的发作了。